Thoughts on Dale Carnegie and Criticism of Others

I’ve been slowly getting through an audiobook version Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People and have found a lot of value in the lessons it offers, but by far the best piece of advice I’ve come across is the first fundamental technique in handling people that the book covers: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

I would like to think that I’m pretty good at curbing this kind of behavior within myself, but sometimes even the people you love the most can still bring out the worst in you, and I catch myself doing it a fair amount ever since I became more conscious after listening to Carnegie’s advice. Jonathan Mead of personal development blog Illuminated Mind was featured on Zen Habits recently to talk about the immature, whining nature of a baby that so many adults choose to revisit on a daily basis.

He recommends making it a priority to catch yourself when you complain or criticize flippantly without need, even if it’s well-reasoned. By stopping and noticing when you judge others or even yourself, you can choose then and there whether you can control what you’re complaining about, or just let it go:

“Obviously, this is a little easier said than done. Complaining is an addiction and a hard habit to break. Like any other habit to break, it will take time.

Even though it may be a long time (or possibly never) before you’re living completely complaint-free, that’s still okay. The good news is this isn’t all-or-nothing. Even 10% less complaining will have an immediate positive impact on your life. Then, once you’ve decreased your whining by 10%, you can keep bootstrapping your way down to complaining less and less.

After complaints show up less and less, something awesome starts to happen. Once your mind realizes that you won’t tolerate its moaning, it will begin to give up its efforts.”

It’s not earth-shattering advice, but it sure would do a lot of people good to think about it more often and notice the immediate impact of being more courteous and restrained in criticizing others.

How To Stop Acting Like Such a Big Baby [via Zen Habits]

Popularity: 15% [?]

Overhaul Your Resume and Stand Out

I’ve been working on giving my resume a refresher on the road to a great new job in NYC and have done a lot of research compiling how-to’s and best practices. Trent Hamm of my favorite personal finance blog The Simple Dollar has a great one-stop article to take your dusty old resume to new heights.

The suggestion of a one sentence pitch versus an objective/goal is one stand-out piece of advise I took from this article. I even made a point to emphasize in my one-liner that I like to consider myself a values-based leader. Hopefully that means the employers I attract aren’t just about bringing good business but good will and character into their organizations. Pretty nontraditional for an “objective” but I’ll be sure to update you on how successful it is as I dive into my job search.

How to Construct a Killer Resume from Start to Finish [The Simple Dollar]

Popularity: 14% [?]

Be Open to Growth by Using Twitter

I used to be one of the many young college students who scoffed at Twitter as nothing more than a confusing, souped-up Facebook status with an emphasis on vanity and silly play-by-plays on people’s lives. Earlier this year I started using it much more frequently after the micro-blogging service began picking up steam. I’ve learned to appreciate it’s usefulness and practicality over time, and it has helped me share information and connect with friends and others in a profoundly different way.

Over at one of my favorite websites, Zen Habits, Guam-based personal development blogger Leo Babauta featured a guest post by Alex Fayle of Someday Syndrome with some really great insights on how to use Twitter in a much more meaningful way by harnessing its tools for personal growth.

9 Ways to Twitter Your Personal Development [Zen Habits]

Popularity: 13% [?]